Time to decide

Ray West · Oct 23, 2006

Hi,

I have come across a number of instances here, as everywhere, concerning making choices. Such as 'should I buy this new Leica camera, or put the money into a trust fund for my children's education'. Now, in such a case it is easy to decide, it is best to put your children up for adoption. The camera will be more reliable, and will cost you far less than children, and if you really think it is a choice you have to make, then your children will be better off with other parents.

However, some decisions are more involved, and I and others have found the following to always work. The simple technique has been applied to many different situations and it always works. In all seriousness, I suggest you give it a try too, it may save you a number of sleepless nights.

It can be a joint effort. For example, a young couple we knew, couldn't decide between paying for a grand wedding, or furnishing their house. They found the following method gave them a result that pleased them both.

It also has the advantage that it works just as well, whether you use a Mac, or IBM PC, even linux

I've linked to it , as a pdf, since you may wish to print it out for future use.

http://www.yertiz.com/pics/decisions.pdf

Best wishes,

Ray

Cem_Usakligil · Oct 23, 2006

Great advice Ray! This is what happens to me everytime I need to take a decision re. buying something. I tend to overanalyze things using Excel spreadsheets and the like, making extended feature lists, reading reviews on the net, and so on...At the end of the day, I actually know what I really want in my heart already at the beginning. The rest is just a process of rationalizing this decision to myself ;-).

Thanks for sharing and letting me know I'm not alone.

Cheers,

Cem

Ray West · Oct 23, 2006

Hi Cem,

Thanks for your thoughts. A spread sheet limits you too much. It restricts data entry to when you are in front of the pc, it may restrain you to your pre-conceived ideas of what you should be thinking about - (slicing the pie again), but at the end of the day, all things being equal, if you are happy with the results, then that is what matters.

Drawing that first line, its the positive, definite step towards an answer. It removes a load of worry, you've started to do something about it, solving the problem, that is. Then, once you've thought of something, wrote it down, you needn't keep it in your mind any more, but can think up, get triggered by events, whatever to get the next items.

I'm not sure if the conscious human mind is multi tasking, most men tend to think sequentially, whereas women can do more things at the same time, but that may be a cultural thing. If you don't make a note of the individual ideas, then you keep them in your memory by refreshing them, and what you think of first assumes greater importance - its not by chance that 'first impressions count', or that I can remember things from 50 odd years ago (and many were odd), but not things that happened last week.

Best wishes,

Ray (great minds think alike - not true)

Dierk Haasis · Oct 23, 2006

Hm, personally I find the process a bit tedious. I use several alternatives:

1. Tell my wife what I intend to purchase. Usually she sets my head straight (literally, she tears it off and puts it back on).

2. Tell my bank about a prospective new toy. They laugh heartily and throw me out.

3. Tell myself why the more expensive decision is right; call myself a jerk, not able to survive the real world.

4. Decide for the sensible expense. In the last minute I overthrow the democratic decision for the expensive toy.

Most of the time I can simply rely on No 4: Whatever decision I have reached by carefully examining the options, I will go the other direction.

*I am not married, not living with a significant other or even entertain somebody else beside me.

Cem_Usakligil · Oct 23, 2006

Dierk Haasis said:
Hm, personally I find the process a bit tedious. I use several alternatives:....4. Decide for the sensible expense. In the last minute I overthrow the democratic decision for the expensive toy.

Most of the time I can simply rely on No 4: Whatever decision I have reached by carefully examining the options, I will go the other direction.

LOL, this is exactly what I meant to say when I wrote earlier:

Cem Usakligil said:
..At the end of the day, I actually know what I really want in my heart already at the beginning. The rest is just a process of rationalizing this decision to myself ;-)...

No matter how hard I rationalize about it, in the end I end up buying the gizmo to which I am emotionally attached (which is very often way more expensive than the rest). BTW, do you at least entertain yourself well? If so, the rest is unimportant ;-)

Cheers,

Cem
(Who does not claim to have a great enough mind in order to conclude whether he thinks alike with really great ones or not.... possibly not considering the fact that they are great and he is not)

Ray West · Oct 23, 2006

Hi Dierk,

Unfortunately, I can not decide if to reply to you until about four days have elapsed. In the meantime, since you only have yourself to worry about, and you always buy the expensive toy, and the price seems to be the important factor, would you like to buy a bit cheaper, and send the difference to a child adoption society, say? ;-)

Best wishes,

Ray

Mary Bull · Oct 23, 2006

Well, I myself don't have a wife, but otherwise, Dierk, I seem to behave exactly as you describe.

Turning me loose at CompUSA late on a Saturday night is like giving a chocaholic kid a credit card with no upper limit in an upscale candy store.

I'm still in the grip of euphoria over this great Samsung monitor, 22-in. wide, and the truly grandiose HP Multimedia Pavilion--made for TV watching but all the faster for me, since I didn't enable any of the multimedia stuff in set-up.

And now I don't have to worry about deleting all my blurry dud photo files for awhile longer, at least--this thing downloads and stores movies, or so the owner's manual says. But I'm just going to store all the mailing list mails and my blurry photos on it--at least, for awhile.

As Ray commented in my "Personal Report" thread, nothing like new toys!

Mary

Mary Bull · Oct 23, 2006

Amen, me too, same goes for me, also, Cem.

Mary
(shaking head ruefully)

Alain Briot · Oct 24, 2006

Life is too short to make pros and cons shopping lists over days or weeks ;-)
Just go for the gusto, provided your financial situation can support it.

And keep in mind that while you may be able to do something today and not feel the pinch too bad, the same may not be possible to be said about tomorrow, or yesterday for that matter.

Personally, I have made many life-changing decisions based on this fact: my personal situation at the time and whether this (the decisive factor) is what I love to do or not. I haven't regretted any of them and I made many. Each time the return was worth many times my investment.

Don Lashier · Oct 24, 2006

What I have discovered is that many decisions I have agonized over have proven to be inconsequential while decisions I gave little thought to proved to be life altering - so I don't fret too much.

- DL

Asher Kelman · Oct 24, 2006

I have made lists and rated things only to realize that I'm motivated to assign whatever scores will give me the result I'm partial too. That's why one needs a scientific method in inquiry. Here it is not possible.

Luke learned the hard way, one needs to go with the force! Have a goal, you want the right equipment, go get it if you want it that much!

Asher

Cem_Usakligil · Oct 24, 2006

Asher Kelman said:
...Luke learned the hard way, one needs to go with the force! Have a goal, you want the right equipment, go get it if you want it that much!

But remember! Beware must you be of the dark side, my young padawan... (LOL)

Cheers,

Cem

“Do or do not... there is no try.”

Jason C Doss · Oct 24, 2006

Alain Briot said:
Life is too short to make pros and cons shopping lists over days or weeks ;-)
Just go for the gusto, provided your financial situation can support it.

Luckily, most reputable places have a 14 day return policy, so if you make an impulse purchase that you soon regret, you could always send it back sans a nominal shipping fee.

As far as life-changing decisions, I also have found that most of those are made for you. The decision tree is a good idea if you have that kind of control, but I find that most of the time I don't.

Alain Briot · Oct 24, 2006

Don Lashier said:
What I have discovered is that many decisions I have agonized over have proven to be inconsequential while decisions I gave little thought to proved to be life altering - so I don't fret too much.

- DL

Good point. Plus, unlike store purchases, life-changing decisions do not have a money-back guarantee ;-)

Alain Briot · Oct 24, 2006

An example of choices: on the left, using Ray's list. On the right, not using Ray's list ;-)

Don Lashier · Oct 24, 2006

Alain Briot said:
An example of choices: on the left, using Ray's list. On the right, not using Ray's list ;-)

... and the one on the right is "life altering"

- DL

Alain Briot · Oct 24, 2006

Don Lashier said:
... and the one on the right is "life altering"
- DL

Indeed! And in more ways than one. I would say "intoxicating" or "addictive" as well ;-)

Laughing out loud as I type

Cem_Usakligil · Oct 24, 2006

Hi guys,

Is this where one signs up for the life altering decisions class?
I'd very much like to alter mine if this picture gives any indication as to what then would await me ;-)

Cem
(really laughing out loud and hard)

Alain Briot · Oct 24, 2006

"Is this where one signs up for the life altering decisions class?
I'd very much like to alter mine if this picture gives any indication as to what then would await me ;-) "

(line removed by moderator - subliminal advertising....)

Still laughing out loud

Mary Bull · Oct 24, 2006

Alain Briot said:
An example of choices: on the left, using Ray's list. On the right, not using Ray's list ;-)

Do you believe in love at first right? (Right move of the eyes, that is.)

Mary
< who free associates in rhyme and loves The Beatles >

Alain Briot · Oct 24, 2006

Hi Mary,

"Do you believe in love at first right? (Right move of the eyes, that is.)"

Being French, I have to say I do... which is why Ray's list doesn't necessarily work for me.

There is no substitute ;-)

Still laughing

Mary Bull · Oct 25, 2006

Alain Briot said:
Hi Mary,

"Do you believe in love at first right? (Right move of the eyes, that is.)"

Being French, I have to say I do... which is why Ray's list doesn't necessarily work for me.

For me, neither.

I do make pro and con lists when faced with some really big choice, like my move to Nashville, in 2003.

But, in the end, I follow my heart. Finances aside--how could I resist living next door to the sister who taught me to play the piano in 1932 and introduced me to Shirley Temple's rendition of "The Good Ship Lollipop," in 1934?

There is no substitute ;-)

Still laughing

"I just want somebody to love."

No substitute for that, either! < laughing but serious >

Mary

Alain Briot · Oct 25, 2006

Mary,

I think we both look at life in a similar manner. I like your approach.

"There is no substitute" is Porsche's advertising slogan, which is why I used it. I do like it.

Mary Bull · Oct 25, 2006

Alain Briot said:
Mary,

I think we both look at life in a similar manner. I like your approach.

And I like yours.

"There is no substitute" is Porsche's advertising slogan, which is why I used it. I do like it.

Good car, good advertising slogan.

"I just want somebody to love" is the companion line of that Beatles song from which I paraphrased. Goes,

"Would you believe in love at first sight? ...
I want somebody to love."

And then, "I just need somebody to love."

I accidentally put "just" in with "want," but a quick Google has showed me that it goes with "need" in The Beatles song, "A Little Help From My Friends."

However, that's a very sad song, actually. Sorry, really, now, that it came to mind.

Especially since I'm presently feeling so upbeat.

Mary

Alain Briot · Oct 25, 2006

I like the Beatles. In France, I learned English as much in class as by memorizing lyrics. Some of them I only understood much later, as with proverbs and sayings which require a cultural background that I was lacking back then.

I'm off to the post office with Natalie to ship packages in our "delivery" vehicle ;-) I currently listen to Bob Dylan's latest album "Modern Times".

Mary Bull · Oct 25, 2006

Oh, I love Bob Dylan, lyrics and music both, also.

Mary

Alain Briot · Oct 25, 2006

Yes (for Dylan). The lyrics are just superb and his last album is very "rock", quite different from what he was doing previously. There are some gems in there. It's available via iTunes (which is where I got mine). YOu can then burn a CD, straight from iTunes, to play in your car

Very cool.

scott kirkpatrick · Oct 25, 2006

decisions, decisions

Don Lashier said:
What I have discovered is that many decisions I have agonized over have proven to be inconsequential while decisions I gave little thought to proved to be life altering - so I don't fret too much.

- DL

I bet the first category has included the many desperate attempts we make to optimize the choice between far too many perfectly acceptable alternatives, while the second category is between a good alternative and a bad alternative. Recognize these in time, and they are no-brainers. There's a third category. If you discover that you are choosing between two alternatives, neither of which is what you wanted, ask how you got into this fix in the first place, and where it could have been completely avoided.

'nuff philosophy.

scott

scott kirkpatrick · Oct 25, 2006

Alain Briot said:
An example of choices: on the left, using Ray's list. On the right, not using Ray's list ;-)

My first thought, on looking at the two cars, was that Mom's minivan was on the left, and Dad's Porsche on the right. But then I noticed that the car on the left is suspiciously small. It is one of the Chrysler Co's hommages to the American cars of the thirties, as chopped and channelled by the hot rod builders of the LA basin in the fifties and sixties. So self-image, or "love at first sight" seems to have played a role even in the selection of the Briot delivery van!

Am I right?

scott

Dierk Haasis · Oct 25, 2006

It's the PT Cruiser - a rather ugly retro-looking car. At least the other one is a proper Porsche [visually almost as boring as a Golf], not the ugliest car in the world, a Porsche Cayenne [although it's essentially a VW witha Porsche bagde - again].

Time to decide

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