Since we live on opposite sides of the planet, it is late in the evening for me when it is early in the morning for you and vice versa, so it is my turn to get a headache now.
You wrote that you taught your students how to appeal and you pretend that you could not do it yourself?
That's a statement, Jerome, not a question. I'm not pretending, I'm just not sure. I've not had the need to appeal for some time. As I say to the barber when she shows me the back of my head after a haircut: I don't have an image problem because I don't have an image. Those I wish to appeal to died years ago.
As for my students, I usually ask them what they want out of their photos. Generally the answers revolve around some sort of appeal to some individual or group. These include editors, publishers, tourists, art critics, shoppers, family and friends - and me, of course. In my experience, each appealee has a short list of requirements which are easily identified and can be used to increase the chances of a budding photographers ego being stroked and purse being fed. The purists among us might consider this a bit crass and unethical but when your income depends on it you need to find out what works pretty quick or starve in the process (or continue living with your parents).
My choice 50 years ago was to teach what I could to those who wanted to make a career from photography. Along the way I discovered there were some who had no intentions of earn a living in this way but to appeal to a different group; themselves. Strangely enough I found myself being drawn to these people and their purpose, aspirations and needs, so much so, I have since spent most of my career assisting them in their quest, along with my own. I would say that it's only been in the last 10 years or less that I have come to grips with why, not what, and that is the difference. It's not about what we do but why we do it. When that is clear, the process is also clear. But this is such a personal thing, identifying some magical formula that will achieve general appeal has never been possible. Occasionally it can be fluked, even with some consistency by a few. But the answer lies not with the image. The answer lies within the person. People who have this need to appeal to themselves alone must firstly find detachment. That ain't easy to achieve let alone maintain. Sometimes detachment can slip through our fingers like warm butter and we fall into the trap of relying on the appeal of others to maintain our own self respect. That's when it gets ugly.
There! That should give you a headache for the rest of the day.