Its Never Ending....

Just when i am seemingly starting to get my head above water theres a hand to push me under again...

I just got the data recovery program to recover the files from my crashed drive which has kept me from selling any prints...It was a ray of light...And the Farmers Market starts in May...I had some hope..Then tonight a pipe burst in the attic over the garage and water was raining down from the ceiling everything that was in the attic soaked and things in the garage now soaked..A major mess dry wall ruined and i have no money for this...It is like a sign that there is no way i will ever get back on my feet again.....





Just like someone has this unbreakable clamp on me...The image is just fitting... =(

ErikJonas said:

Just when i am seemingly starting to get my head above water theres a hand to push me under again...

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Erik,

I do really feel for you having another issue come down on you in the form of water, this time! Sorry and I hope it gets cleaned up without too much back-ache! Not a nice thing to happen and you have my empathy and good wishes on this misfortune.

Why do you single yourself out as "special" in this regard? It happens to all of us. I get to know the real tragedies that happen here. Every person here has had some misfortune of that level or much greater in the past year. You name it: hit by an uninsured driver, child assaulted, picture stolen, family member has cancer, drive crashed and data lost completely, break in, tied up and beaten and everything stolen, (twice to one OPFr and his fiancée!), fired or laid off from job, hospitalized for some rare illness, wife runs off with someone else, daughter pregnant, family member has Alzheimer's disease and more.

So you had a flood! Dry things up and say, "Next!" and tackle the issues of the day.

As far as you broken drive and cards are concerned, if you trusted me, you would have had the data back within a week. However, that's your choice! So it takes longer!

&%^&*&^% happens to everyone, Erik! We just deal with it, have a shower, pull up our pants and socks and get on with the next day.

ErikJonas said:

I just got the data recovery program to recover the files from my crashed drive which has kept me from selling any prints...It was a ray of light...And the Farmers Market starts in May...I had some hope..Then tonight a pipe burst in the attic over the garage and water was raining down from the ceiling everything that was in the attic soaked and things in the garage now soaked..A major mess dry wall ruined and i have no money for this...I

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Erik, Dry wall? Come off it! That's no big deal. Rip off the old stuff, put on a fan to dry it for a week and then replace the drywall leaving 1/8" space between boards. Just add tape and a little joint compound let it dry and sand. One coat of white paint and it's good enough to hang pictures on!

I've had 4 floods in the past year and that's what I've done! Pipes leak! If not, there would be no abandoned homes to look like they did in Bart and Cem's pictures!

ErikJonas said:

It is like a sign that there is no way i will ever get back on my feet again.....

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Nonsense! Erik snap out of it, this is a normal happening and you just got a small portion of %$^##, which happens since everything that has running water wears out! Just a fact of life. don't want leaks? Live in an Arizona cave as a hermit!

ErikJonas said:

Just like someone has this unbreakable clamp on me...The image is just fitting... =(

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Not so, even if the devil was real, he wouldn't bother conjuring up ways to drive you crazy and test your will! If you can take pictures like this and the one with a rusty door, then you are more fortunate than a hell of a lot of other folk who have no vision at all to make such choices.

Now, this picture? I like it. Again, more like what I'd expect from Jim Collum and am happy to see the second image of this kind from you that I am enjoying. Add to that the finding that you didn't cripple the image with over-processing or whatever you have done. This is a good file. I'd consider a slight S-curve, if you want someone can post a version for you.

Focus on selling the pics. This one needs some more in the series with the rusted door. That one had much better contrast. How was this in color?

Asher

Erik, please forgive my intrusion, but reading a message such as you posted compels me to reply with something I learnt in the very bitter and sad years of 1991 to 1995 - I won't go into details of what happened during this time, let's just say that my thread 'Moon between the trees' and a doctor's statemnt from back then: 'you should not have survived' gives a hint.

Anyays, the lesson I learnt is we choose to overcome adversity, no one puts the clamp on us but ourselves and the only sign that we won't get back on our feet is a sign we make ourselves. The road to recovery can be painfully slow and full of potholes and debris to trip over, but it is a way forward - you have to find that way forward.

Although no one can tell you the way forward, as that decision is entirely yours, if I may indulge in a bit of advice (and I rarely indulge in such a way):

Find something that you do that gives you joy, satisfaction and refocus your energies on that - that's what worked for me and stopped me falling so far when tragedy hit again in 2006/7.

Damien Igoe said:

Find something that you do that gives you joy, satisfaction and refocus your energies on that - that's what worked for me and stopped me falling so far when tragedy hit again in 2006/7.

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Damien,

It's amazing and commendable you pulled yourself out of the incredible experiences you had thrown on you! You grasp of the the idea of doing what gives one "joy and satisfaction" is the right attitude.


Erik,

I like Damien's advice. However, be prepared to work hard, very hard, to achieve your goals. You do need the rewards in life, the pleasure everyday. As a child, for me it was being able to open my eyes each morning after my mother removed the dry crust from my eyes by applying warm soaks. Then it was helping blind folk cross the road or get and older home-bound person, groceries. Eventually it was becoming a physician. I enjoy life each day just looking at thee sky, trees, a person passing in the street or doing my art work.

Photography can do that! But one can drive a cab or work in a patent office to put bread on the table. Einstein did that, but at home, he did what gave him joy, theoretical physics and thinking to the nth of how things might be related, one to another.

Asher

Erik, I am sorry to hear of the unfortunate incident that has befallen you.

To have courage, in the face of misfortune, is a sign of the mark of the brave. You, I know, are a brave
person. I also am sure that this incident shall soon pass.

However, the present might seem daunting, discouraging, sapping your strength. Here is where the
brave excel. They are brave, not because they are unafraid, never feel sad, never face misfortune; they are brave because they commit themselves to overcome the difficulties that they are faced with. And work towards that goal.

Asher, has given some sound and practical advice. Damien has given you the benefit of how he overcame
his period of trial. Take their advice. It is sound.

Let me add one piece of suggestion that has served me well during my lifetime. Give to those that
need help. Give them of that which is most precious to you; wealth,time,strength,happiness,hope,courage.

By doing so, HE shall give unto you a little of that which is most precious to HIM. From HIS wealth,from HIS time, from HIS strength and from HIS mercy.

Rabindranath Tagore, a Benagli poet, winner of the Nobel prize for literature, Knighted by the British Empire has a collection of sublime poems. From his sentinel work, the Gitanjali, I leave you with this:

I had gone a-begging from door to door in the village path, when thy golden chariot appeared in the distance like a gorgeous dream and I wondered who was this King of all kings!

My hopes rose high and methought my evil days were at an end, and I stood waiting for alms to be given unasked and for wealth scattered on all sides in the dust.

The chariot stopped where I stood. Thy glance fell on me and thou camest down with a smile. I felt that the luck of my life had come at last. Then of a sudden thou didst hold out thy right hand and say `What hast thou to give to me?'

Ah, what a kingly jest was it to open thy palm to a beggar to beg! I was confused and stood undecided, and then from my wallet I slowly took out the least little grain of corn and gave it to thee.

But how great my surprise when at the day's end I emptied my bag on the floor to find a least little gram of gold among the poor heap. I bitterly wept and wished that I had had the heart to give thee my all.

I pray that you be given the patience and strength to overcome this incident.

Best regards.

Thank you, Asher and Fahim - but it is a recovery done by so many from far worse situations.

Erik, as Asher said, to get to your goals, you got to work hard, real hard - but don't see that journey as a burden, see it as a challenge.

"Every great journey starts with the first step"

and every step gets easier as your passion and enthusiasm grows! Like a snowball rolling down a ski slope, your drive will turn into an avalanche and nothing will be able to stop you. I know that sounds unbelievably cliched, but I have found it to be incredibly true!

Heed Fahim's words especially, that poem is a testament and a powerful message to take with you.

If it would help you, feel free to PM me and vent - being practically a stranger can be a benefit. But, feel free to PM anytime.

fahim mohammed said:

Let me add one piece of suggestion that has served me well during my lifetime. Give to those that
need help. Give them of that which is most precious to you; wealth,time,strength,happiness,hope,courage.

By doing so, HE shall give unto you a little of that which is most precious to HIM. From HIS wealth,from HIS time, from HIS strength and from HIS mercy.

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Just a thought from Fahim's excellent advice (and Asher's and Damien's) - these are not remote people, but there are always people close who will benefit from your love and help. It really is true that we are more blessed in giving - I know this to my cost as well as from the upside.

Mike

It's all in how you look at it.

When my daughter was born (I was 44) the physical trauma caused Parkinson's to manifest young. I'm quite sure I'd have become a "Parky" at some point, but it was likely exacerbated by the difficult birth. (An aside: lest anyone misunderstand, knowing what I know now I'd go through it again without hesitation; my daughter is one of the two greatest blessings and joys in my life. The other is my son.) Parkinson's has changed my life dramatically. There are definite drawbacks and problems associated with it. But...it's also been a blessing. I have discovered sides of me that I might not have. It was Parkinson's that indirectly led me to photography. It was Parkinson's that prompted me to start writing fiction. It was Parkinson's that motivated me to start teaching myself to play piano, however badly. (I use it as therapy for my left hand.)

Most important, it was Parkinson's that forced me to look at my life and what matters. My priorities are vastly different now, and it's because I became ill. I'm incurable. Even if the "cure" is found tomorrow, I'm incurable because too many neural pathways have begun to atrophy. I don't care. I'll live (most likely) to see my children grow up. I might not have "seen" that without Parkinson's. I likely would have remained too focused on work, scrambling for another publication, rewriting lectures instead of driving my children to rehearsal, teaching them how to play cribbage, etc., etc., etc.

Three months after I was diagnosed, I went skydiving for the first time. Finances are tight, but in May I'm going to Europe for the fifth time since the dx.

Erik, if I may be allowed to speak plainly: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's tiresome and gets you nowhere. If you must cry about your misfortunes, don't do it on the forum. I say this as kindly as I can.

Like Asher said, sh*t happens. Deal.

Asher and the mods: Feel free to delete my post if you think that would be appropriate.

Rachel Foster said:

It's all in how you look at it...............

Most important, it was Parkinson's that forced me to look at my life and what matters. My priorities are vastly different now, and it's because I became ill. I'm incurable................

Three months after I was diagnosed, I went skydiving for the first time. Finances are tight, but in May I'm going to Europe for the fifth time since the dx.

Erik, if I may be allowed to speak plainly: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's tiresome and gets you nowhere. If you must cry about your misfortunes, don't do it on the forum. I say this as kindly as I can.

Like Asher said, sh*t happens. Deal.

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Erik,

Let me put it another way. You might look at other folk and feel how everything goes well for them, but, in truth, you don't know any of their problems.




Even if you didn't have running water but dug a well, one day you'd find that a dog fell in and died and everything is putrified. So what do you do? Dig another one!

When you are invited to someone's home, chances it's all clean and well arranged and the hosts are cordial. Come in at another time, unannounced, mid-week and the kids junk is all over the place and who knows, the wife might be in bed drunk and the husband in tears. Why? In truth that's what's inside the doors of some very nice people's homes at some tragic time in their lives. Justified or not, fair or not but $h*t happens! Things simply break down including us, our friendships, marriages and more.

The difference is that you, Erik, announce every time blood pressure goes up, a CF disk burps or something goes "Clang!" in your world. Truth is, far worse things are facing so many other people here. They just don't announce the details!

So what's the solution? Find the good seeds in your life, plant and nurture them. Meanwhile you have to weather the storms. Here your seeds are photographs you say sell. Well make more and sell more if that's were your strengths are. If not drive a cab or work towards something else you aspire to.

One thing I can assure you. Getting pictures done that you are proud of AND others like will do more good than anything else, (except perhaps the right prescribed medication for whatever ails you). We all wish you well, but you have to focus on photography here and that, hopefully, will help you feel good about life again.

So, leave the bad news at the door step, (unless the sky really is falling), and follow through on your potential that we glimpse every so often in your various pictures. Good luck in moving forward and selling your work!

Asher

Erik, Once again you have received some good advice. I as others do feel for your misfortunate events and like all other people here and elsewhere life's journey often has something you may not like in it. How you deal with those issues, right or wrong, gives you experience for future use and builds character in you also. Let's take your example if I can as I have had a similar situation several times in my life....

You wrote :" Then tonight a pipe burst in the attic over the garage and water was raining down from the ceiling everything that was in the attic soaked and things in the garage now soaked..A major mess dry wall ruined and i have no money for this...It is like a sign that there is no way i will ever get back on my feet again....."

I am going to assume that you are a healthy male free of handicaps. I would be up in that attic pronto with maybe a friend to identify the problem, run down to the local hardware store and get the parts to repair the plumbing (I would be willing to bet the parts would be less than 50 bucks) even if it is temporary. Clean up that mess it has made in the garage and plan on doing the proper repair later when possible. Immediate problem solved! You do have close friends don't you? These are time you call on them for some help if out of your reach, don't forget to repay them with kindness later, it's a Karma thing.

Remember these words as the have had a big impact on my life..."You are the one responsible for the happiness in your life.Nobody else can do that for you"(thank you mom).....so look inside yourself Erik, find what's wrong and change it or fix it. I would argue that the sky is not falling (just the ceiling in your garage) and you have a lot to be grateful for. At a later point in life you will reflect back to the difficult times in your life and realize they were not as bad as you perceive they are today, I promise.

Now to end Erik I want to say one other thing. If I lived within a 100 miles of you I would be right there to give you a hand with the repair and clean up and I am serious in what my response would be. This was the way I was raised you see, it is a natural response in me. By helping you in your time of need would make me happy that I did so. Others here are doing the same with there advice but truthfully it is out of our hands and is in yours. Your cries of woe invoke the emotions that most decent humans will have, "what can I do to help?" Sympathy and empathy is all you will get to be honest as it is not like we are not right there and you need CPR from us to survive, we have to keep it real in what is possible and powerless to change it for you. Remember this is a photography forum with an international presence and should be respected as such.When I come here to OPF I want to focus on just that,photography, not to what has happened to Erik as this is not the place for this IMO as many are powerless to do anything so why bother. It is nothing against you at all but this does take away most if not all the purpose in being here to discuss our photography intrests instead of our personal problems my friend, we all have them....

So take it for what it is worth, "you will have to deal with it" like others have said and you will be a better person for doing so....so get it done and get back here so we can see some more images of your models!

Wishing you well,
Larry

I wanted to thank everyone who commented in this thread...I have been incredably busy the last week plus...Kaye had spring break and we shot three days in a row one day she had two shoots one with me and one i set up for her with Matt Vandegrift a really amazing photographer and friend of mine....

I was really sad when i went about cleaning up the mess in the garage...Mom had a lot of antiques stacked up as well as some things for a yard sale that i was sure were all lost...Well...I had sections of carpet and plastic that i had been lazy about and not taken care of and i threw them up on top of this stack of stuff and that saved them!!!....As well when my mom put that stuff out there she put it on boards that were on blocks so nothing was directly on the floor.....Amazingly,nothing was lost but some cardboard shipping tubes.....

Ben one of the new neighbors when i was talking with him over a beer telling him about what happened he smiled and said well i plumb so just give me a call i'll come look at it...We found the broken pipe a 3 inch section and Ben slpiced in a section of new pipe for us and not charging a dime...

A number of other things have happened since...Mom was in a fender bender among other things...She shook her head the other night an said "its just one thing after another"....

I went on a bit of a shooting spree with Kaye and got some amazing images shes really coming around as a model and then i picked up another model thats 21,old to be getting into it...Shes done a hand full of shoots but no ones taught her a thing so like with kaye i have to show her posing and completely set the shots up...

I have 12 shoots with Kaye to edit and starting with this new model..If i just keep myself as busy as possible and not notice whats going on around me or have time to sleep or think....Today I run the data recvery program from LC Tech...The tech support has been great and painless and quick to get to when calling them...I just rebooted and am going to start the program....

Again thanks to everyone who left a comment and i wish i had the time to respond to each one in detail...I have to go work in the garden getting that ready for my mom...Its been a hard day...She had a ladder out in the yard an she was going to go up it with a saw and i had to show her it was not stable not a good idea and she got frustrated and started to cry and that made me so sad =( Shes not use to not being able to do what she use to do and it upsets her...Seeing your mom cry is the worest thing ever....

Guess i'll leave you with a picture.......



From Kaye's first bike shoot...A $50,000 custom street bike...Taken with a BIG tat covered biker standing behind me while i shot his bike...Oh taken free hand,speed light,shot at like F11 i think....It was pretty bright out....

ErikJonas said:

I wanted to thank everyone who commented in this thread...I have been incredably busy the last week plus...Kaye had spring break and we shot three days in a row one day she had two shoots one with me and one i set up for her with Matt Vandegrift a really amazing photographer and friend of mine....

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From Kaye's first bike shoot...A $50,000 custom street bike...Taken with a BIG tat covered biker standing behind me while i shot his bike...Oh taken free hand,speed light,shot at like F11 i think....It was pretty bright out....[/QUOTE]

Erk,

Let's focus on the good. so this picture is a down-payment! This morning I has a flood .. for real but we won't go into that. We must focus on photography. Now f you want to make an artisitc series on the flood or your mom a ladder, that's another matter!

I like this picture.

Good job!

Asher

To echo what others have said, I'm sorry to hear of you're plight. I hope you'll soon recover as good as new.