You Should Never Yell At Your Mother....

Today i had to take my mom into town to get her taxes done...She didnt get proper directions and we were driving around aimlessly which got me really, really frustrated and i just said thats it we are going home YOU didnt get directions like i told you to i yelled...She got upset and almost started crying...I sit here knowing that it was a really uncalled for lack of patients on my part...You should never yell at your mother....I feel like a truely horrible person....

Tomorrow morning i take her in for a cat scan ordered by her doctor as she is still having bad head aches and a elevated blood pressure...Shes now on blood pressure medication...I take her every night to the fire station to get her blood pressure checked...Its become a very stressful and worrying thing...Its very tiring and yet i cant sleep at night.......9am appointment at the hospital...Count three and pray.....

A BP machine is about $49


It's less stressful than to use the local fire station. No salt, lose 10-15lb if overweight, follow your own doctors orders and the BP will be under control.

And ff you get mad, it's human. That really does happen in most families whether we face real life and death situations or hysteria.

Asher

ErikJonas said:

Today i had to take my mom into town to get her taxes done...She didnt get proper directions and we were driving around aimlessly which got me really, really frustrated and i just said thats it we are going home YOU didnt get directions like i told you to i yelled...She got upset and almost started crying...I sit here knowing that it was a really uncalled for lack of patients on my part...You should never yell at your mother....I feel like a truely horrible person....

Tomorrow morning i take her in for a cat scan ordered by her doctor as she is still having bad head aches and a elevated blood pressure...Shes now on blood pressure medication...I take her every night to the fire station to get her blood pressure checked...Its become a very stressful and worrying thing...Its very tiring and yet i cant sleep at night.......9am appointment at the hospital...Count three and pray.....

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I am very sorry to hear about your mothers health and I agree with Asher, you .....we....are only human. Even though it may not seem so now, you are way ahead of others in that you realize that you should have more patience. Your last word in what you wrote is the key. Move it to the first part of everything you do and things will ease. It's what I do now, I am still human and have bad days of yelling at my son or arguing with my wife but the good days, good times now outweigh the bad.....and I attribute it all to God and prayer.

Here is a glimpse of what I have been thru and where I am now (http://ocfmo.com/testimony.aspx). I am sorry to hear about the pain and the frustration that you are going thru. I encourage you to "really" use the key to open the door to the solution.

God Bless you and your mom,
Wayne

ErikJonas said:

...Count three and pray.....

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Hi Erik,
Those last four words are profoundy important.
I have found the Serenity Prayer to be most helpful when life's challenges seem too much to bear:

God, grant me the serenityTo accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Erik, I pray for your mother's health and that you have the strength to be patient with her.

Having said that, let me offer you my point of view. This is not a Dr. Phil's know it all burst/remedy; but how we as children are brought up; how my parents were brought up and so on.

In my culture, shouting at your parents ( or elders in general ) is taboo. People around such a person start to slowly disassociate themselves from a person exhibiting such behaviour.

Regarding one's mother..my religion and my society holds a mother in the highest possible esteem.when me and my wife have an argument and my kids are around they quietly leave the room. And respectfully, later on gang up against me to protect their mother. They make it very clear, in the most respectful way, that their mother shall be defended against any unkindness from me.

Our Prophet Mohammed ( PBUH ) when asked by a person whose parents were estranged who of the two he should go to was commanded to go to the mother. The person asked again, and the Prophet
( PBUH ) re-iterated that the mother should be visited. When the person inquired a third time, the Prophet (PBUH ) once again commanded him to go to his mother.

When the person asked the fourth time, The Prophet ( PBUH ) said that now he could visit his father.

Why? The Prophet Mohammed ( PBUH ) said that paradise is to be found under the feet of one's mother.

The Holy Koran is explicit in its commandment re: parents. Paraphrasing a verse, the Koran says in the same sentence...Do not associate anything/anyone/anybody with Allah and be kind to your parents.

Erik, the majesty of this verse is lost in translation, but my Allah has commanded me to accept Him as the Almighty, with no associates; and in the same sentence commands me to be kind to my parents.

Your mother bore you in her womb for nine months. She must have gone through hell to give birth to
you. Nine months, she suffered..and she suffered even after you were born, when you could not fend for yourself.

Nine months Erik, she bore the pain for you. And this is how you behave with her. Nine months, she carried you.Gave you her milk to keep you alive.

And you Erik, could not tolerate her when she is sick! If you are born a million times you will be
unable to even begin to appreciate the debt you owe her; let alone repay her.

The Holy Koran again is explict in its commandments re: parents. Paraphrasing the Koran, do not show
impatience or be short with your parents and remember the sufferings and the tolerance they exhibited towards you when you were young.

Yes, we are all humans and can get frustrated. It needs a superhuman to bear a child and it needs a little of her superhuman strength to be kind and patient with her.

I am sorry, this might seem harsh to you. But this is how I was brought up, and how I brought up
my children. It is my religion, my tradition and custom, it is my life..the way I live.

I pray that Allah gives us the strength to exercise patience with our parents and treat them with kindness and mercy.

I shall end by paraphrasing a saying of Prophet Mohammed, in which he warns that no one shall enter
the gates of paradise whose parents are dissatisfied with him/her.

Take care and a speedy recovery to your mother.

Hi Fahim,

Our cultures aren't all that different. I was brought up to respect all adults (a child should be seen but not heard; don't speak before you're spoken to; etc.).
The Old T4estament of the Bible tells us to:
Honour your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you; that your days may be prolonged, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Conversely, the New Testament imposes a burden of duty on adults:
But whoso shall offend (cause to sin) one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Erik, follow Asher's advice and buy a BP monitor. The stress of a trip to the fire station will raise your mother's BP and give a false reading. Measured at home it will be lower.

Best wishes,

Stuart

Hello Stuart,

But of course. The Word of the One God can only be the same.

Erik, follow Asher's and Stuart's wise advice.

Regards.

Updating on this and thankyou to the others who offered their words of advice...

Moms CAT scan came back clear which was a huge sigh of reliefe but does not explain the head aches shes been getting....The doctor increased her blood pressure medication from once a day to twice a day...

Asher...We live a few blocks from the Fire station...My mom has one of those devices you mentioned but i dont think its that accurate..And now with the last doctor visit her doctor wants her using the device in the mornings and in the evenings going to the fire station...One of the last times at the fire station it was like 120 over 72...So getting better but then the added medication ya know...

And i didnt mean it was tiring having to run her about i ment it was tiring just everything i have been through....

Wayne thankyou very much i will read that link when i am able to give it my full attention...

Thanks again to everyone else....